Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Losing Weight Again

I just came back from my not-so-quick long overdue errand to return equipment to Comcast. After 3 years of living alone with all the priceless privacy I can have, I finally decided to move out and rent a room. I feel it's worth the barter and I could not believe I did not think of this long ago. Don't get me wrong, I am not in a hardship at all, I just had to push myself to save even more - not just for myself, but for my brother's med school education as well.

So this blog post is not really about my move and all. It's about my journey (once again) on weight loss (ha, as my title says!). It has not been an easy road at all - that bumpy road of trying to peel myself off those adipose cells has been very excruciating. Well I am exaggerating. It's not as if I am in some pain, but emotionally it has been a roller coaster for me. I kept telling myself that I am losing weight so I can eat more, that that is my personal mantra but I really have just been lying to myself. I honestly wanted to lose weight to feel better and be more comfortable with myself.

First Day

Today is the first day of my weight loss milestone. This is a restart of what I have started last year. I have already lost around 10 pounds since last year but due to an injury, I was sidelined for a few months and languished in days of no exercise. So day by day, I look and stare at myself in the mirrror and keep pinching my belly fats and realize that this is not healthy anymore. I have to give myself a break and swallow that awful truth that I am starting to become overweight. Well, I am already overweight. It's not really as bad as I think it is - I most probably am overweight by just around 10-15 pounds but trust me, it is damn hard to lose those last pounds. I thought I could achieve that target last year - I have already reached 121 lbs and I had 3 pounds more to lose but I gave in to my urges of eating by the end of the year after I ran my first half marathon.

So back to my first day. I started to eat "healthier" lunches the past days. I have really pushed myself to eating just salad for lunch comprised of lettuce, eggs, pieces of chicken, beans, and some balsamic vinegarette. It's not torture at all and surprisingly I haven't been hungry in the afternoons. I kind of changed my routine and have dinner early now. Then today, as of my writing, I have decided to go for an afternoon run before sunset. To digest the egg sandwich I just ate (protein, protein, protein with wheat bread!). I used to hate wheat bread. I felt it was too dry and eew. But it's not bad at all. Not that bad at all.

I tried to weight myself but it seems like the weighing scale has a mind of its own and won't work on carpeted floor. Will have to bring it downstairs to have an effective weighing. Thirty minutes more and I should be off to an hour's worth of jog then a good night's sleep.

Wish me luck. I hope this time it would be for real and I will be healthier.

Update @ 9:24pm, roughly an hour and a half after: Yes, finished a 3 mile run! The first of many hopefully. I feel tired but refreshed after a short cold bath. Weather in Seattle has been really sweltering the past days. My fan in the background is full blast. I hope the night treats me well. I really want to rest and do a quick run tomorrow morning. Lord, thanks for the love.

Remembering the Past

I usually get teary-eyed when I find myself recalling old memories, memories of what was, what made me who I am right now. These are the tidbits of thoughts that make me melancholic and sort of dramatic, and sometimes make me pinch myself just to remind me that I am indeed sashaying with reality.

What Goes Up Must Go Down

That is what my Papa always reminded me. I was born into a prominent family or shall I say "clan" in my city, and have always found myself proud of this. Sad to say though, a family name cannot pay the bills, or the school tuition, or provide food on the table. I can say I matured at a very early age. When my parents fought due to financial issues, they thought that at a young age of 10 I would still be very naive of such things, but fortunately (I really can say that), they were wrong. I pushed myself to be courageous in many matters - such as putting a brave front talking to the school finance to allow me and my brother to take the final exams despite not paying the tuition (being a grade schooler at that!).

Don't take my parents wrongly. They tried to do their job of providing for me and my brothers, but due to unfortunate business decisions, we had to literally live a paycheck-to-paycheck life. Sometimes even to the negative. Even though we literally had nothing and we could not afford wants, sometimes even needs, they sent us to the best schools, and put our education at the topmost priority. That was the wisest decision my parents made and I am very much thankful for that.

I believe the experience of hardship is a very good inspiration. A lot of people ask me what pushes me to crave for "magis" and just to live life at my best capacity. My childhood experience is my whip akin to the carrot of a horse. I never strove to be rich for the sake of being rich, I wanted to just have enough, so that my family can live comfortably. Or to eat a hotdog without peeling the skin (that is for another story).