Thursday, October 23, 2008

In the greater scheme of things

These lines of one particular song keeps getting into my mind:

Tired of weaving dreams
Too loose for me to wear.
Tired of watching clouds
Repeat their dance on air.
Tired of getting tied, to doing what's required.
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things?
Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Will I even be surprised that you're with me in disguise
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things?

I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place so my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things.

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The past month has been kind of hard for me.
True, people do stupid things sometimes and we just have to forgive them.
But sometimes it just is too hard to forget what they have done.
But you try to forget and forgive at the same time. I hope forgetting and forgiving go hand in hand. But they just don't.
Sometimes, you want something but then you realize that wanting that something is wrong. But spatting that something out leaves a bitter taste in your mouth that your memory relives in some random chew you sometimes make making sweet tasting morsels difficult to enjoy.
I wish I had been wiser.
But thank God there is a tomorrow, a tomorrow that acts like a sebo de macho, a tomorrow that slowly erases scars.
Thank you Lord for the blessings.

Answered Prayers

I remember getting out of my interviewer's room feeling so disappointed of myself. Not another failed interview. The first time I did not make it because of my lack of detail in testing, I succumbed to the tiredness and exhaustion. I felt like I was ready but then I was not for I did not give my all. I had another chance but then I just lost it to yet another misinterpretation. Just because the interviewer said "So that is already done?", and I would reply "Yes I think so". But then she called me back and led me to the next interviewer's room. And I saw a flicker of light ahead of me - the light at the end of a long dark tunnel. Another chance for me.

It was a great start of the week for me. I did not expect to receive the call but my prayers were really answered. They wanted me to be part of the team! And to a team I wanted to be with - the Microsoft WEX team - the team incharge of testing applications' compatibility with Windows 7. I was thinking, I did not mind the pay, I just wanted the experience.

After a month and a half, I finally got hired. The first month, I just let myself be slaved by fear and enveloped my being in my aunt's home - was scared of accepting interviews and appointments. After the first month, I just had to face it all and had to move on. I just had to face things, face the music. I finally got over it and had to recite the Nike motto again and again and again. I accepted all interviews, even the C++ technical interviews I braved to face. But before I was scheduled to go into my noon interview, the call from my recruiter with the good news came. Thank God. I am saved. I do not have to embarrass myself because of the lack of preparation.

So Microsoft, here I come.