Thursday, March 22, 2007

My Sickness: Being A Perfectionist

I'm tooooo sick of myself. I mean, sick of this side of me - of being too much of a perfectionist. Here I am again pounding on my keyboard, instead of spending some time conjuring up codes for my never-ending interpreter. I just cannot think! I'm wasting time making things in order (whoa, is that some kind of psychotic disorder, what's that sickness again.. well I'll remember that later) .. and I still have many many things to do! I have to improve myself, know my priorities and again, hehe, put them in order. Again, this thing, order.

Being a perfectionist is a plus. I think I stick on magis too much. Maybe too much college "crap". I'm sorry for using that term - but I've been doing much magic on magis. Magis is doing more than what you can do .. or targetting for a higher target. Or something like that. Do I make sense? I learned magis from college. [Just a second ago, my brain signalled me that my head hurts]. I've been applying this magis thing eversince and just now, it hit the threshold level - where your brain complains, and your body wants to give up. Well I think I'm out of the topic .. being a perfectionist. Getting back to that, I strive to attain perfection but I end up on less than that (well they say that nothing's perfect) and I get frustrated. The process to achieving my goal takes up soooo much time than originally planned that this too frustrates me. Just reflects how "webby" my mind is right now. Now you see the negative side of being a perfectionist. This thing I'm writing. Makes you dizzy huh? I think I'm going crazy. I think I have to go to the pharmacy and buy those menthol stuff that can lighten up your head. My head is really aching. I have to clear my mind. Two and a half hours more ...

Trying to clear my head and straighten things up (despite my pounding head):
Priorities (for now):
a. Interpreter - due this saturday so meaning, a long night later and a long long day tomorrow
> How on earth do I do this arithmetic expression thing? Anyone who can enlighten me?
> Seems like my concepts are not that clear yet. But bust my concepts. I have to get into this head on.

b. Tickets for cdo - buy during lunchtime. Meaning no lunchbreak for me. And drilling through my pockets again. I have to get through the two weeks. Two more weeks and it will be rest time. Now, that should serve as my inspiration! :)

c. Work work work. I guess nothing explains this. I am paid through this.

Before taking up any masters course, make sure you are ready physically, FINANCIALLY (now this is very important), MENTALLY (be ready for mental exhaustion from both work and school and I warn you for any mental disorders - this is highly probable), emotionally (less interaction with human beings .. more with robots ... ) and spiritually (you'd either improve in this area, or shut yourself out spiritually .. which can also drive you nuts). My head is really really aching. I have to go to the pharmacy - buy some of that menthol stuff and a bug of nuts to put pressure on.

Game. Now back to work.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

A New Addition to the Family

I seem to be in a good mood today. This may have been brought about by my new little sister - a pooch that I bought from my ex-officemate. The ever dog-lover waxie. :)

I remember the first dog that I owned. His name was "Island". He had these little spots around his body - like little islands, thus his name. He was just an "askal" and a mongrel (I was just corrected by my housemate rex that the terms "askal" and "mongrel" are not interchangeable. Askals are "asong kalyes" or street dogs while "mongrel" is a dog breed.) We were afraid that Island would run away so we kept him inside a cage. We then left him a bowl of food. That was our big mistake.. ants began to terrorize his place .. and him too. :'( And when I found him at the end of the day - he was dead. Imagine the anguish of a child - seeing her dog dead. He was still skipping the last time I remembered him alive. Drat ants.

I could talk to you all day 'bout my dead dogs. But I don't wanna do that. Haha. Btw, good thing the deadline of my interpreter project was moved!!! Yipee! Saved by CIT-College Days. Good thing these kinds of occasions exist. Hehehe. They could act as alibis by teachers not to check lousy projects. Hehehe. For now, I see my project as a lousy project but I do hope I could improve it over the weekend. It is far from done. The design's so .. so.. inordered? It's not well-thought. I should revise it and hope to pass a clean one. God bless me.

Anywayz.. it was a long while since I've last posted. I kept adding and changing blogs. When I read back all my entries here, I was laughing (not to mention the corny poems. eew. hehe). So I guess I'll just keep posting to add to the laughs.