Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Blessings and Fear

I am thankful that God has blessed me with lots of wondrous things (even though I don't deserve most of them!) I cannot believe that I am where I am right now. A good and stable job, enough pay to exercise generosity, and overflowing love that I am graciously sharing.

Fear has been my #1 enemy for the past years. It is the thing that has continually harassed my fragile soul, and is the root of my insecurity. I have been trying to conquer it, and I believe I am slowly succeeding. Self-experience has taught me to be more self-confident and to stand for myself. In connection to that, I have learned that we do not have to stand up for ourselves all the time. We have to stand up in the right context, without destroying friendships. Yes, I know it is good to defend one's self belief, but it surely is not right to make people believe that you are right all the time. You have to act according to status quo, and be humble for now, and defend later, at the right time. It surely is not easy, but it has to be done. I may be speaking in riddles, and one day I may clarify all of these things. :)