Saturday, December 27, 2008

I just have to

I wonder what I did wrong. People are supposed to stick together but the cold shoulder makes me wonder what made her act that way. I really did my best but why on earth does she treat me that way? Did I really do something wrong? Reflecting back on things, I may have been at fault in some small ways but they were very lame for them to be the reason on the cold shoulder. This makes me lonelier.

My father long ago told me that I should not please all people. I just cannot do it. But still, I do my best. I maybe at fault by doing that but sometimes I really just can't help it. At times, I get tired that I just shun everyone. That happened yesterday. On Christmas day. When I got home from my aunt's house, I just slept, stirred and wondered, and slept again. I never felt so alone on a Christmas day. Never.

I miss my housemates in Cebu. I miss my family. I miss the bubbles of laughter. I miss the jokes.

But this is life and I have to live it. I have to survive. I just have to.

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