Saturday, April 05, 2008

Meanderings

There maybe many times when you view a moment in life in a different perspective. Some may view it as a common event, for some it would be a crowning glory, and for you it may be one of the most special times that it is worth describing and embibing in your diary. But unfortunately, for some it is as normal as flicking dirt off one's sleeve. Then you get to rethink if it really is worth jotting in your diary.

I have been wanting change eversince I set foot on college and got to strengthen my principles in life. I have been too strong in one thing and too mushy in another. I can say I really value my career and education a lot - this area in my life not only pushes me up but also is an important vessel for my family. But on the other hand, I have been too soft emotionally (I can remember one friend of mine teasing me as "emo-girl" - he wanted me to be less sensitive. I really believe that I have already changed, even if just a notch, and improved this side of me. But I am afraid that in the end, going through all these emotional turmoils and by keeping on wiping off the moisture, my heart would end up like a rock. I hope not.

Everything has a reason, but unfortunately you make the choices to create such meanderings. A laugh, a cry, a twinkle of the eye is force enough to create a pathway in life. Moments of hurt weakens one to the point of contemplating if one still has the strength to stand and go on. But despite all these, rivers of tears quickly erode barriers and create new paths - giving you enough inspiration to get on your knees and push oneself up.

This is the beauty of life. You fall - yet deep inside you know you have the strength to pick yourself up, gather the pieces and build yourself up again. It maybe tiring, but the desire of completing that big picture puzzle that we call life inspires us twist and turn the pieces - and hope that on one area it will fit. And if it does, how triumphant and beautiful life can be.

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