Wednesday, December 05, 2007

"Busyness" and Coincidence

I made a poem not so long ago about the word "busy". I stowed it away somewhere with the rest of my super heartfelt poems (oh so heartfelt!) - poems which I made whenever I really really felt so low, or whenever I felt so giddy with love. Yah, corny but true. In the past, whenever I felt so down in the dumps, it was like having this bottle with the cork that wanted to pop, that when you pop it, the wine overflows or something like that (ever heard of the advertisement of Pringles saying: "One you pop you can't stop!"? I felt like that). But going back to the topic "busy" - yeah, busy, I hated the word. And I hated its essence.

I've watched tons of movies. I cannot say hundreds 'coz I'm not really a movie buff. I keep recalling those scenes when children cry because their dad did not make their dream treehouse or their dad did not go to the promised camping trip or their moms were not able to attend their school plays. All for the reason of "busy-ness". I felt that way at the end of the previous week and the beginnings of this week. Like some child complaining, because of the circumstances of this "busy-ness". I guess I was really just selfish. They are children, they have the reason to whine because they still don't have the maturity to understand things. And I am an adult - a selfish one at that.

I have this principle in life that when I promise something to someone, I should do all things to achieve or fulfill that promise. If I could not, at least that person should have the knowledge or should have seen that I put all my sweat and blood to overcome all obstacles (or shall we say "busy-ness") to fulfill the promise. Not just say "I'm sorry , I'm busy that day." Or, "Sorry. Busy." Feeble attempt at rhyming huh? Well as they say, everything has a reason and that reason is "busy".

I guess I am just frustrated. Because all commitments promised to me were broken. 95% of them this week and the previous week. I understand every instance of them were just pure coincidence .. or maybe I'm just losing self-importance. Or I just want them to give me importance. Maybe that's it.

I really am selfish.

The thing is, what matters to me is if you can't make it, just say the magic word - "sorry" in a heartfelt manner and everything is forgotten.

So for those with kids, I guess an apology is not enough. You have to make it up. Just make sure that when you promise, the second time, the promise should be fulfillled. If you apologize that time around, the apology is already stale at the start. No use.

Life is not built on work. Or on business. It is built on the foundation of time wrapped with love sprinkled with effort and care.

Maybe all was just "busyness" and coincidence.

There still is a second chance.

And I am not a child anymore.

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