Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Robin Hood and Scrooge Christmas

I am excited. CDO here I come! ^_^

I have been frequenting different malls for the past two weekends. The malls were packed, everyone seemed to be in a hurry and I know the merchants are just laughing by the sidelines. People are being fed into the jaws of commercialism. I used to be one of them. I bought what I felt would be appreciated and did not think of my expenses. I was the opposite of Scrooge but afterwards, I felt like I was robbed by Robin Hood.

Because of my impending plans for early next year, I was forced to save. But even with being spend-thrifty, I realized that it was a nice feeling to have secured finances. Everything is now plotted out, I could now breathe. But still, I have to push myself to tie a leash round my wallet to put all plans into place.

How do we get to buy gifts and at the same time save? Here are some tips I can give:

a.) Don't give out gifts based on what the person wants but on what the person needs. There are more stuff we can buy which is needed than what is wanted. Wants are more expensive than needs. Say for example, you buy an organizer rather than a very expensive hardbound. It would still be appreciated, and in the long run more appreciated. You will have an idea on what he/she needs based on his/her occupation. A writer? A cute pen or a nice notebook. A programmer? A nice book on programming. There are endless options.

b.) Don't buy on impulse. Write all possible gifts you can give on paper. This way, you could discipline yourself to buy what is planned, and not just buy as what you see on the shelves. This way, you'd be right on budget.

c.) Don't bring a large amount of money. Just bring an amoung a margin higher than your budget. This way, you will be forced to buy what is on the list, and avoid changes. The wallet leash will still be on!

d.) Don't buy expensive Christmas wrappers and ribbons. You can make do with colorful papers around your house or artsy stuff from previous projects or even with colorful magazines! People will just tear Christmas wrappers apart. What matters most is what is in the inside, and not the outside.

In my opinion, it would be cheaper to buy gifts rather than give money. Buying gifts would consume energy thereby burning fat and losing weight! It could also assure you that at least the money is spent surely on a thing rather than on something else! :)

Sometimes Scrooge has a point in being thrifty and Robin Hood also has a point in giving...

Friday, December 14, 2007

Nonsense Conversation

Does it even deserve to be called a conversation?
It's either we are both bored or senseless, or we have nothing to talk about.

But it's fun though.


Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Christmas in the Philippines

If everything will go as planned, I will really miss my country and Christmas with my relatives here in the Philippines.

"Pasko" is the tagalog word for Christmas in the Philippines. Seems like Filipinos really love festivities! Christmas fever starts as soon as the month with "er" comes (September) and ends until Valentines day. It really is a long stretch.

"Parols" or Philippine lanterns are already hanging from different people's homes. Christmas recipes are already being prepared and the pig to be roasted for Christmas is already being fattened (poor pig!). Like all other nations, Filipinos will be also seen scrambling for gifts in the malls.

When I was still young, we used to play lots of "parlor" games during Christmas. My aunts and titos would shower us with coins to grab together with envelopes of "cash gifts" during Christmas parties. But now that I'm already working, I couldn't have that "cash gift" anymore; Not to mention that my grandparents are already up "there".

We also celebrate this "simbang-gabi" where we go to church early dawn starting Dec. 16 until Christmas day. They say that if we get to complete attending mass until Christmas, you will have the privilege of one wish and that wish will be granted. I was able to perfect it once! But only once. I really dragged myself from bed that time.. There were times when I attended mass just by myself (without my family). But the good thing is, I get to enjoy the free chocolate drinks after mass! ^_^ Not to mention having my wish at the end of the series.

Christmas in the Philippines. Not just a season of joy but a culture.

My Country the Philippines

I really am not that patriotic, but here I am, writing about my country. I recently read an article from Philippine Daily Inquirer and even though the present state of my country hurts me, I just have to chew the facts and swallow them.

I used to be an avid chatter in high school - getting giddy in the fact that I could chat to another person across the globe. Technology bowled me over, and I was ever ready to grasp it. I frequented internet cafes just to browse the net and get into the MIRC. I loved the idea of chatting with someone blue-eyed or red-haired from some country. I was too young back then. But I never intended to meet them in person. I could still envision Little Red Riding Hood and the possibility of being eaten up by the big bad wolf. The world is full of wolves. We ourselves could be the wolves.

I've been in Cebu for three years now and I notice there are a lot of women here who have boyfriends and husbands who are foreigners. It is hard to accept that some of these women (not all) marry their husbands for money and not for love. I've even seen a girl who was just like in the age bracket of 18-20 years old and was with this foreign guy who was like - 50 years old? o_O You think that is marrying for love? The Philippines was used to be known as a country with conservative women - but now I see our women wearing tiny skirts and revealing blouses with their foreign husbands clinging by their sides. Is that to impress? I hope women could show more self-respect than that.

Kudos to technology. Kudos to the brains of it all. We can take advantage of technology to the maximum level but let us not let technology abuse us and our reputation as a country.
Blast to the philosophy that love is a decision. Look around us, our women are "loving" because of this decision. I frequented internet cafes in the past to have fun, but look at women now. They frequent internet cafes to show what is not supposed to be shown and to be teased with the prospect of being able to lift themselves from poverty by sacrificing their self-worth and getting married to someone they don't love or maybe eventually will learn to love. It's all for the money.

This all boils down to our economy problems. Our country's problems. If our country weren't that plagued with political and economic concerns, "real" love could still have prevailed.

Still, all change starts with us.

But are we too blind to realize that fact?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

"Busyness" and Coincidence

I made a poem not so long ago about the word "busy". I stowed it away somewhere with the rest of my super heartfelt poems (oh so heartfelt!) - poems which I made whenever I really really felt so low, or whenever I felt so giddy with love. Yah, corny but true. In the past, whenever I felt so down in the dumps, it was like having this bottle with the cork that wanted to pop, that when you pop it, the wine overflows or something like that (ever heard of the advertisement of Pringles saying: "One you pop you can't stop!"? I felt like that). But going back to the topic "busy" - yeah, busy, I hated the word. And I hated its essence.

I've watched tons of movies. I cannot say hundreds 'coz I'm not really a movie buff. I keep recalling those scenes when children cry because their dad did not make their dream treehouse or their dad did not go to the promised camping trip or their moms were not able to attend their school plays. All for the reason of "busy-ness". I felt that way at the end of the previous week and the beginnings of this week. Like some child complaining, because of the circumstances of this "busy-ness". I guess I was really just selfish. They are children, they have the reason to whine because they still don't have the maturity to understand things. And I am an adult - a selfish one at that.

I have this principle in life that when I promise something to someone, I should do all things to achieve or fulfill that promise. If I could not, at least that person should have the knowledge or should have seen that I put all my sweat and blood to overcome all obstacles (or shall we say "busy-ness") to fulfill the promise. Not just say "I'm sorry , I'm busy that day." Or, "Sorry. Busy." Feeble attempt at rhyming huh? Well as they say, everything has a reason and that reason is "busy".

I guess I am just frustrated. Because all commitments promised to me were broken. 95% of them this week and the previous week. I understand every instance of them were just pure coincidence .. or maybe I'm just losing self-importance. Or I just want them to give me importance. Maybe that's it.

I really am selfish.

The thing is, what matters to me is if you can't make it, just say the magic word - "sorry" in a heartfelt manner and everything is forgotten.

So for those with kids, I guess an apology is not enough. You have to make it up. Just make sure that when you promise, the second time, the promise should be fulfillled. If you apologize that time around, the apology is already stale at the start. No use.

Life is not built on work. Or on business. It is built on the foundation of time wrapped with love sprinkled with effort and care.

Maybe all was just "busyness" and coincidence.

There still is a second chance.

And I am not a child anymore.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A Job and the Extras

I'm having three jobs at the moment - I'm a C++ developer, a researcher, and a cosmetic dealer at the same time. I'm real proud I still have time for my friends, to communicate with my family, and to care for myself. Did you ever have a similar experience like mine? Working multiple jobs? It really is not a walk in the park, but the action takes your mind off things.

I remember when I was still teaching (previous sem) and how I was very eager in earning extra money that I just dived into the single opportunity that was offered to me. And since it would be hitting two birds with a single stone (added professional experience and extra pay), I thought it would be worth the effort. Every tuesdays and thursdays, I climbed five floors and had to prepare lesson plans every weekend. I had to prepare myself mentally and emotionally - face my rowdy and unrelentful class. When it was over, I was real glad. But I admit, I miss the challenge. I was glad I was successful in teaching C to my class.

Whatever jobs we have, we should be grateful. Having jobs means you are important, and you are needed. Be happy. :)

Preparing for the Inevitable

When I was still young (well I'm still young but not that young ... hmm, it was hard to admit that part), I dreamt of becoming a nurse. Then I upgraded that dream, I yearned to become a doctor. And when I grew up, I ceased all dreams, and practicality invaded me.

When we are still children, we can dream endlessly - for thinking of practicality is not yet in our spheres. Aspiring to become an astronaut? Why not? Dreaming as a child is endless, everything seems possible. We plow through life propagated by our wondrous dreams and never thinking of giving up.

I wish I could still coax the child in me and relive my dreams. What I am planning for my future is a practical approach, but I still could not deny that it is a part of my dream, a dream I lovingly toiled eversince I was a child. That dream of going out of my box, my sphere of comfort, and attack the world of uncertainties. I am preparing for the inevitable, and letting my soul reach for that dream, and relishing the thought of even just being able to touch the silver lining of the cloud.

Dreams propagate us to live, but living catapults us to our dreams. Never cease dreaming.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Back from the Dead

I have just replaced my monitor - it is nearly dying. So now, I am staring at a very bright monitor and I love it!

I am again resurrecting this blogsite. I temporarily moved to wordpress but I was having a hard time uploading pictures so I reunited with my old blog. It's nice to discover that blogger is improving their features - we could already switch around blog components, and have more control on our layouts! Good for them and good for us! :) [If you wanna see my wordpress account, go visit]

The other week, I was forced to stay home due to measles attack. And I really hated it - if I'm on my bed, it is because I want to be on bed not because of some sickness. But I really had not choice but to stay home and stare at the walls all day. I did not have enough strength to plug my laptop and do some surfing. I just - wasted time and stared at the walls all day. Well not really all day - just around 6 hours. LOL. Still the same.

I was browsing through some blogsites a few hours ago when I accidentally came through an article about a guy who ate 20 kilos of human meat. This was the guy -> I couldn't imagine myself eating human fingers or a part of one's butt! Yuck!! Even if I would be dying and there'd be a human corpse around, I would never never never eat even a nibble of it. Never never. I swear. I wouldn't even eat a part of my pet rabbit - and more so of human flesh!

Then I became more curious of this cannibalism thing. So I searched more on wikipedia and found this article: . Take a closer picture at the right and you can observe the image above on cannibalism and another image below on Cuisine. What da!!? They are relating Cannibalism and Cuisine!!! LOL. What is this, dining at its finest?

I really am being useless today. I am again fighting a bout of fever, and I still have some other stuff to do in my "extra" work [To earn extra money for Christmas to buy that long-wished camera]. I hate being useless. But I really cannot think well.

Thank God! The affidavit of support from my Tita Nora already arrived! :D Wee!!! I don't feel that sick anymore! :)

Friday, July 27, 2007

Meantime Girl

Who wants to be the meantime girl? You do? Well I don't. But maybe I was, once in my life...

I want to share this forwarded piece sent to me by my friend Butch..

What’s a Meantime Girl?
She’s the one you talk to only when you’re bored because she makes you laugh with her crazy strories. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear, and she really listens. She’s not the one you call when you're out with friends on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One". You know the one who you keep around in the meantime.
She’s not one of the guys who you can play ball with, nor a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a "real" woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused about. She’s too understanding, too comfortable – she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely and you need someone, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, because she always understands. It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs – she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny girl, the steadfast companion, the convenient "girlfriend", and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. You’ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she’ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won’t be around.


It hurts - a lot. But that's life.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Just a Blank

The thought of having my own internet connection pretty much excites me. Owwwkay.. IT EXCITES ME!!! :) There. Then I can work on how this blog can be read by more people. I really cannot concentrate on making my blog more readable here in the office. I am pressuring myself to work on this thing which two weeks ago I did not have an idea of. Then I was forced to have an idea on this thing. Haha. Do I make sense? I hope I do.

Anyway, I was really hoping I could make a tech blog - some few resourceful pages from which people can learn. I plan to focus on learning C++ and MFC (maybe that would be one part of my blog), then another could be on my journey on learning Photoshop. I really haven't pushed even one button on Photoshop's IDE but in the next few weeks, I hope I can (on weekends). Then I can start writing those articles. Haha. I hope some people will read them. But I really can't write yet without internet connection. Well maybe I can, but I just feel tired writing now without internet connection. I am the type of person who writes directly and post them up immediately in my site. When I write an article, and set it aside for later use, I tend to forget that I have written something. Well, you know me...

Maybe I can then recycle this site as an advice site. I will post some meaningful experiences, reflect on them, and hope my reflections can help you in your decisions. Sounds corny and all but we are just humans, and most of us experience similar things. I do hope people will comment - violent or not, I would appreciate them. :)

And now going back to work ...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Heroes and Me

Today is the birthday of Jose Rizal. I wonder if most Filipinos know this. All we know is Rizal Day - which I bet because it's a holiday - meaning no work and no school. Am I right or am I right? :D But Rizal's birthday? I guess no X marks the spot (the spot on the calendar).

There's this TV series - Heroes. I love watching it - I get amazed by their powers, imagine superstrength, the ability to fly, the ability to heal one's self. But despite their amazing abilities, do they use these abilities to help people? Maybe in the first series their powers aren't in full blast yet 'coz they are still in the discovery process, but I do hope their powers will be put into good use later on. Yes, I see Hiro Nakamura drawing the sword and killing Sylar.. but I'm still straining on my seat waiting for the explosive action - where the focus will be their helping people, not their personal lives.

I went to the doctor yesterday for our company's annual checkup. Then the doctor told me I either am an anemic or I have a heart problem. I would have loved to tell her - yes doc, I really have some serious heart problems. Haha. Well not really serious. I am just joking. Then my friends keep teasing me - and they tell me I am very choosy. I really am not. Honestly (why so defensive?). Haha. Ano nga ba type ko?
a.) God-fearing
b.) Has a stable job.
c.) Funny. Could mingle well with different kinds of people. Not boring.
d.) Mabait
e.) Di seloso

++ .. add-ons:
a.) Sporty
b.) Lingaw.
c.) Luvs dogs.

yan lang man... di naman yan madami eh. Diba? ^_^ Pero I guess.. yup.. what they say is really true. Usually what you're looking for will not be the one that you will find.

Just a Few Realizations

It's weird. I haven't written for the past weeks - I used to be such an avid writer, like a little child skipping to a toy store. And now, I seem to have lost my inspiration. But I will try writing. So here it is..

I am not supposed to write now. Like most boring lunches that I have (I just eat by my PC, so I would not consume extra time going out of the office, and at the same time save money), I browsed through my friendster profile and viewed the people who viewed me. How come they view my profile? Haha. :D Yeah maybe some getting news on what's happening to "waxie". I get to see new people - and most of the time returning the "favor" - by viewing their profiles too. Anywayz, I scoured the list and was able to view the profile of a guy who works in the same industry as me and.. opened his blog up. And ... I was reminded that I have my own blog too! X_X I just read, and read (well not really all but a few entries) and had a few realizations: like what he's experiencing - many people want to resign from their jobs (whoa, the philippines has very minimal job opportunities and people are leaving their jobs?! Seems like that is pretty ironic huh?), I am far from my dreams (like him, I wanted to pass the PhilNITS exam, he passed, can I?) ... and the IT industry is not my permanent field. I have always loved solving things, tinkering stuff and just analyzing just for the heck of analyzing. Maybe I can do well in another field (like what, veterninary? I really really don't know). I really am confused. Enlighten me?

I was thinking of doing freelance work for the past weeks. I have been doing well with art when I was in high school and college - so why not merge art with my field? Why not learn photoshop and flash? One major reason is maybe I'm too tired with my current work that I don't have the energy to venture into other fields anymore. But what's the use of the PC? Maybe this is one step to realizing my dreams - and most importantly add even just a little to my funds. I have been so hard-headed, and was not really exerting that much effort on this. I should. And maybe I would have fun...

Oh, just for an update. I was able to finish the interpreter. Seems like this is the wrong time to post this news. Haha. I just think this is old news. I do hope teachers would base their grades not on how the thing looks but on how the thing works. I designed it in the cleanest and most structured way that I can. And still, the design was not focused on - it was the look that became the spotlight. Two weeks of no sleep and all she saw was the UI. But still, I give myself a... 4.5 for effort. ;) Hope she did too. Anywayz, I passed the subject. Thank God.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

My Sickness: Being A Perfectionist

I'm tooooo sick of myself. I mean, sick of this side of me - of being too much of a perfectionist. Here I am again pounding on my keyboard, instead of spending some time conjuring up codes for my never-ending interpreter. I just cannot think! I'm wasting time making things in order (whoa, is that some kind of psychotic disorder, what's that sickness again.. well I'll remember that later) .. and I still have many many things to do! I have to improve myself, know my priorities and again, hehe, put them in order. Again, this thing, order.

Being a perfectionist is a plus. I think I stick on magis too much. Maybe too much college "crap". I'm sorry for using that term - but I've been doing much magic on magis. Magis is doing more than what you can do .. or targetting for a higher target. Or something like that. Do I make sense? I learned magis from college. [Just a second ago, my brain signalled me that my head hurts]. I've been applying this magis thing eversince and just now, it hit the threshold level - where your brain complains, and your body wants to give up. Well I think I'm out of the topic .. being a perfectionist. Getting back to that, I strive to attain perfection but I end up on less than that (well they say that nothing's perfect) and I get frustrated. The process to achieving my goal takes up soooo much time than originally planned that this too frustrates me. Just reflects how "webby" my mind is right now. Now you see the negative side of being a perfectionist. This thing I'm writing. Makes you dizzy huh? I think I'm going crazy. I think I have to go to the pharmacy and buy those menthol stuff that can lighten up your head. My head is really aching. I have to clear my mind. Two and a half hours more ...

Trying to clear my head and straighten things up (despite my pounding head):
Priorities (for now):
a. Interpreter - due this saturday so meaning, a long night later and a long long day tomorrow
> How on earth do I do this arithmetic expression thing? Anyone who can enlighten me?
> Seems like my concepts are not that clear yet. But bust my concepts. I have to get into this head on.

b. Tickets for cdo - buy during lunchtime. Meaning no lunchbreak for me. And drilling through my pockets again. I have to get through the two weeks. Two more weeks and it will be rest time. Now, that should serve as my inspiration! :)

c. Work work work. I guess nothing explains this. I am paid through this.

Before taking up any masters course, make sure you are ready physically, FINANCIALLY (now this is very important), MENTALLY (be ready for mental exhaustion from both work and school and I warn you for any mental disorders - this is highly probable), emotionally (less interaction with human beings .. more with robots ... ) and spiritually (you'd either improve in this area, or shut yourself out spiritually .. which can also drive you nuts). My head is really really aching. I have to go to the pharmacy - buy some of that menthol stuff and a bug of nuts to put pressure on.

Game. Now back to work.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

A New Addition to the Family

I seem to be in a good mood today. This may have been brought about by my new little sister - a pooch that I bought from my ex-officemate. The ever dog-lover waxie. :)

I remember the first dog that I owned. His name was "Island". He had these little spots around his body - like little islands, thus his name. He was just an "askal" and a mongrel (I was just corrected by my housemate rex that the terms "askal" and "mongrel" are not interchangeable. Askals are "asong kalyes" or street dogs while "mongrel" is a dog breed.) We were afraid that Island would run away so we kept him inside a cage. We then left him a bowl of food. That was our big mistake.. ants began to terrorize his place .. and him too. :'( And when I found him at the end of the day - he was dead. Imagine the anguish of a child - seeing her dog dead. He was still skipping the last time I remembered him alive. Drat ants.

I could talk to you all day 'bout my dead dogs. But I don't wanna do that. Haha. Btw, good thing the deadline of my interpreter project was moved!!! Yipee! Saved by CIT-College Days. Good thing these kinds of occasions exist. Hehehe. They could act as alibis by teachers not to check lousy projects. Hehehe. For now, I see my project as a lousy project but I do hope I could improve it over the weekend. It is far from done. The design's so .. so.. inordered? It's not well-thought. I should revise it and hope to pass a clean one. God bless me.

Anywayz.. it was a long while since I've last posted. I kept adding and changing blogs. When I read back all my entries here, I was laughing (not to mention the corny poems. eew. hehe). So I guess I'll just keep posting to add to the laughs.